Monday, August 31, 2009

Back-to-school blues

I'm not the only mama who has the back-to-school blues, am I?

I know that there are others of you out there who recently sent little ones back to school only to return to your home or office and feel the onset of a sort of sad, empty feeling.

There were days over the summer when I thought that the first day of school could not come soon enough. You too, right? But mostly, summer was full of trips to the beach, bikes rides, and belated bedtimes. We moved at our own pace.

One more Popsicle? Why not. Jammies until noon? Let's do it. Can we catch fireflies? Absolutely.

I know that it is time to welcome structure and packed lunches back into our lives. My kids are ready for a change too. This morning, we woke to an alarm (6:15 am!). I prepared a proper back-to-school breakfast -- oatmeal and fruit smoothies. My daughter dressed in her crisp uniform instead of her bathing suit. We arrived at school a full ten minutes early. As we entered her classroom, I watched her eyes sparkle as she surveyed a sea of new friends and never-been-used crayons.

Tomorrow, I send my son off to preschool for more of the same.

Part of me does welcome this change of season and schedule. I have work to do and an eight-month-old who would benefit from some one-on-one mommy time. I know that my kids are going to hop into the car after school and excitedly blurt out, "Mom, guess what I learned today?"

But every first day of school leaves me with a teary, melancholy feeling. I know that the summers and first days of school are going to fly by. These beautiful little people who are my life's work are growing at an impossible rate.

As I kiss them goodbye and say, "I'll see you after school," part of me wants to whisper into their ears, "Don't go. Stay and catch fireflies with me."

Cross-posted on Wee Windy City.


Anonymous said...

No, you're not alone in this feeling. I, too, wish I could continue to joys of summer with my babies. But, the plus side of all this? Think of the great adventures that come with Fall!

Bethany said...

Beautiful post, Caitlin-- and I would say that all of these feelings mean that you're nothing but a wonderful momma!

Anonymous said...

Funny, I was just feeling the same way today. While this afternoon's sibling arguments were getting on my nerves, I had a moment of anticipation about Thursday (our first day of school), then realized how much I'm going to miss them. I get so used to it being the 3 of us all summer, and then suddenly I'm on my own.

My daughter is starting 5th grade, my son is starting 4th, and even after all these years, I still get teary-eyed and a bit choked up when they get on the bus.